In order to effectively manage non-compliant behavior, we must first examine the reasons for the non-compliance. If a child is not complying with a request because he does not know how to do what he is being asked to do, offering rewards for completing the task will not be successful. Some issues of non-compliance are easy to fix. Behavior can be improved with small easy changes. The focus of this blog entry will be on the simple fixes. More challenging behaviors will require more intensive interventions.
Non-Specific Requests
If a child is not complying with your request, take a look at how it was phrased. Was it clear what you wanted the child to do? Did something in your request give the impression that there was an option? If you said "Don't you think it's time to..." , you never really made a request. The child could decide that no it is not time to do it and ignore the request. "I need you to get to work" is not specific enough. What is it exactly is it that you want the child to do. "You need to complete your math assignment now" is more specific and leaves no question about what it is that should be done. Additionally, people who have trouble with social cues, such as people on the Autism Spectrum, will not understand that "Why haven't you cleaned up this mess?" Is not really a request for an explanation but it is a request that the mess get cleaned up. The why statements may get you an answer to the question (such as "I don't want to") rather than getting the mess cleaned up.
To make your requests more specific, follow these steps:
1. Decide what it is that you want to be done.
2. Clearly state the request in a statement rather than a question. (This can be done with politeness and need not be blunt.) For example: It is time to work on your English assignment. Please take out your book and materials and follow the directions on the assignment sheet.
3. Do not engage in a negotiation or debate about the request. Simply repeat the instructions if the child begins to argue.
Requests That Are Too Difficult or Overwhelming
If the request you have made of the child is something that is too difficult for them to do, no amount of asking is going to help. The child simply cannot do what you ask. You should first teach the child step by step to do what you are asking of him. Another option is to modify your request to something that the child is able to do. For example, If a child is asked to rake the leaves, the child may not do it. With a closer look, we may discover that while the child is capable of raking the leaves, it may be difficult for the child to get the leaves into the bag alone. To improve the chances of compliance, the request could be stated as "Go rake the leaves into a pile and then I will come help you get them into bags."
Sometimes, a request made seems like a big job to tackle and the child does not know where to begin or is simply overwhelmed at the process and does not begin the process. In this instance, compliance may be increased by breaking the request down into a series of smaller steps. Rather than "Get started on your science project." You might start with "Select a topic from this list of possibilities." and then "Make a list of things you will need." and so on until the project is complete. When at home, "clean your room" may be an overwhelming task. Instead start with something small "Put your toys in the toy box." Once that is complete, move on to "Put your dirty clothes in the hamper." Then you might say "Please make your bed." Older children can be given a checklist to follow rather than a series of verbal commands. Also, compliance is likely to be increased if the child's efforts are acknowledged between each step. You can try things like "I can see you are making good progress" or "I appreciate how much work you are putting into this."
The Unmotivated Child
Like many adults, sometimes children are just not motivated to do what they are being asked to do. Motivation can be increased by giving the child something to work for. Sometimes having a clean room is not motivating enough for the child to clean the room. Sometimes getting a good grade is not itself, something the child is interested in and therefore not worth the effort. Getting the child involved in an activity that has a requirement for the child to maintain a certain grade point average can provide the needed motivation. Other things can also provide the necessary motivation. Offer a sleepover with friends for maintaining a clean room for a set amount of time. Smaller intermittent rewards can also be effective and need not take a lot of time or money. "Complete 10 homework problems and then you can take a break and watch your favorite TV show before you finish the rest."
If tangible rewards are something you would like to stay away from, praise for the effort can be an effective motivator. When you see your child putting in effort to accomplish a task, acknowledge the effort. "I am glad to see how hard you are working on keeping your room clean." or "I can see how hard you worked on this English paper. Keep up the good work." If the child is aware that their efforts are noticed and appreciated, the child is more likely to continue putting in the effort.
Another motivating activity might be tracking progress. This can be particularly effective when the child is learning a new skill that she is not particularly motivated to learn. If a child is learning to do math facts and does not want to do it, it can be helpful to time the child for two minutes each day and chart how many problems the child can do in that time. The child will have a visual image of her improvement and be motivated to continue to improve.
For More Information:
Intervention Central
Utah's Least Restrictive Behavior Interventions
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